I like to get my knee pads dirty…

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As the Bathroom Turns!

Hey there everyone and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I have not blogged in over 4 months….LAZY!!! But, am back (for now!).

A LOT has changed in the past 4 months! I now am working in Charleston…while still living in the Capitol City, AND I GOT A ROOMMATE! My roommate is awesome and I will divulge his awesomeness soon!

As I am now working in another city over 100 miles away, I am considering putting my lovely abode on the market to see if I can get any takers and to give me options…to do this, A LOT of work MUST be done!

I decided to begin with my bathroom. It was a *lovely* shade of blue…

I'm blue, da ba de, da ba die

BUT, had a LOT of issues!

I'm all cracked up!

Wrinkles give you character...

Holy Macaulay Caulk-in!

Seam-less...

I have not been "treated" right...

Words don't even describe this mess....

DO YOU SEE THAT HOLE??

Hot mess behind the toilet...

 Well, you get the idea…this bathroom was in a MUCH NEEDED makeover!!

I had TONS of paint from when my sister decided to paint her house!!

(Story time: My sister painted her house. She bought like 10 GALLONS of paint and only ended up using like 2…but, she special ordered the color, so the store would not take it back…so, I was gifted with glorious GALLONS of paint!!)

First, I decided to fix some of the cracks and wrinkles and broken bits in the walls with some spackle, which meant that I had to first take all the things off the walls, which meant I needed some tools. What woman doesn’t love a multi-use tool…

Every woman's dream!

And, away went the cabinet, mirror, and fixture plates!

We be naked!

Next, I decided to scrape off the peeling and bubbling parts of the walls.

Scrape scrape scrape, scrape scrape scrape, scrape your pa-aint!

  This took a LOT longer than I anticipated, and after 4 HOURS of scraping I had gotten this far:

omg...there are soo many colors!!

Hey...cut the wise cracks...

I decided this was GOOD ENOUGH! As, the rest of the bathroom was not nearly as bad as these areas, and I was tired. Do you see all the years of paint…my word! Some of the paint came off in nice chunks, while some was more fine. It lead me to think…is this wallpaper paint??

Wallpaper paint??

After all the contemplation, I decided it was time to spackle! I found some BEAUTIFUL pink spackle, that dries white!

The bubblegum variety!

BUT, THEN DISASTER STRUCK!

I RAN OUT OF SPACKLE!

Thankfully, I have a lowes down the street, so I picked up more!

Once the spackle was dry I sanded it down as best I could, but…

some parts were not as dry as I thought, so it clumped off!

call me Clumpy McClumperton!

But, luckily it was in a spot which was covered up by the fixture covers!

What hole?

Now that my walls were no longer cracked and wrinkly, I decided to fix some of those seams and cracks in the caulking!

It is AMAZING what a little caulk can do!

I am the threshold into tranquility!

No more wise-cracks!

Just like a good haircut, clean edges!

I need the full treat-ment!

 Now, as you can see between the scraping, spackling, sanding, and caulking I was exhausted! This project was also done over a period of about 4 weeks. We are talking 4 WEEKS of having all the bathroom materials IN THE HALLWAY. Needless to say, my roommate was not the happiest camper about having to get the toothbrushes out of the hall…

Painting and ANOTHER DISASTER are still ahead on As the Bathroom Turns!

Stay Tuned,

Irene.

 

Hey! (wood)Screw You!

Hey all! It has been QUITE A WHILE since my last blog post. I could blame my “busy” lifestyle, but frankly I am lazy and would rather watch netflix than clean my house. WELL, I have been doing a LOT of cleaning of my house this past week (no job and lot s of free time = bored Irene)! My house is STILL in shambles, but it is one step closer to my goal.

ANYWHO, I am currently looking for a roommate to fill my spare room, BUT that means that I not only have to move the junk that was in my spare room, I also have to combine my bedroom and office into one! To do this I decided to move a corner desky/table thing into my bedroom.

Corner Desky/Table Thing

 Now, as you can see, my doorways are quite slender (small ppl doors) so it was not an easy feat to wiggle this desk through the doorway!

Chainsaw Please!

So, if you can see, the table portion was too fat for all the legs to get through. So, I did what was natural, I took off a leg. I did not use a chainsaw, but my brain and unscrewed the ONE leg that was not woodscrewed in.

Well, in taking off that leg, it STILL did not fit. So, I did what any natural American would do, I grabbed a beer and then took off the door to my bedroom.

Doors are overrated anyways!

Well, at this juncture I was excited! It should be NO TIME NOW for my desk to just SLIDE in!

Yeah, I was WRONG!

There is no sliding action going on right now...

Well, I tried to slide it in like this and even tilt it a little to get it in. THAT’S WHEN IT HAPPENED! DOOOM!!!

THE TABLE GOT STUCK IN THE DOORWAY!

As it was getting late, and I had been fiddling with this thing for over 3 hours, I decided to tackle this a little later.  So, I was spidermanning (now a verb!) across the desk! It was not a simple ‘oh let me walk over this’, but a ‘oh I need to hold onto the door frame while I do this so that I won’t die!’ Well, as I naturally get into sticky situations….at one point in the 2 days! that the desk hung out like this I had a glass of wine in one hand, was spidermanning around the desk, and my foot got caught in the doorframe and  I GOT STUCK! Yes, I wish I would have been able to take a picture of that, but since I was the only one in the house, fearful for my life (as naturally I thought I was going to die from starvation in that position), and the camera was REALLY far away, that did not happen. Well, I was able to get out, but it took some acrobatics, breaking my wine glass, and pulling a muscle! BUT I SURVIVED! (whew!)

Well, on the 3rd day I decided to tackle this thing ONE MORE TIME! And, there were points in which I thought, this may NOT fit in my doorway! Then, I tilted the desk sideways to try and slide it in desk first AND IT WENT IN EASILY!

REALLY? SMH!

Now, this thing had been in my doorway for 3 days! I was SPIDERMANNING over it! I broke a wine glass and pulled a muscle trying to get it into the room. I took off a leg and my door. RIDICULOUS! Well, needless to say when this happened I laughed SO HARD that I was weazing and shook my head…wow.

3 DAYS!

Well, it is in my room and looks GREAT where it is, and I know when I move out how to move it, but I think I may just chop it up for firewood before I try that again!

Until next time!

I’m bringing sexy back.

This Ain’t No Petting Zoo

So, why is it when you have people over all the little bugs in your house like to show themselves? I mean, even the CLEANEST people get palmetto bugs in the South! (I am speaking of like 1, please do not envision Joe’s Apartment).

This ain't no party

I mean, I think they know when someone who is not yourself comes over and they are like, COMPANY! and come out to say, “Hey, I live here too!” Well, in dealing with that little fiasco…which involved multiple shoes being slammed REPEATEDLY on the floor, with me screaming DIE BITCH! (have I mentioned I don’t do the creepy crawlies?)…I found these lovely creatures:

They don't look like no bunny I've ever seen!

The first thing I thought of when I saw these was the SCARIEST BUNNY EVER, Frank the Bunny!

Eep!

I will admit, I have never been able to finish Donnie Darko as the VERY SIGHT of Frank gives me nightmares for days! Nonetheless, I began thinking of how my house can get SOOOOO dirty and messy, and EVERYTHING, and I contribute it to my need to fill my time with other stuff (such as this blog) AND shear (sheer, cheer, cher?) laziness.

To wrap up this shorter blog, my sister made the comment to me: “I can’t believe you post about your dirty house, and are happy that you do”, well, BELIEVE ME, I don’t want people seeing this side of me (I really try to appear like I got it together), BUT, when your house gets to the point that you can’t have people over and you almost die in it because it is SO MESSY, then it is time to do something about it, and this blog is giving me the motivation to get my house clean.

Trust me, it does not look like this:

Is that a dead cat?

I love watching Hoarders, it makes me feel better!

Another note about my blog, my blog began as doing yard work (read light construction) and how I was going to TRANSFORM my lawn into paradise (haha, I dream big!), BUT my house is a mess and I decided I can do a comical spin on mundane chores that EVERYONE encounters…and, what amuses me is the amount of responses from my friends whose houses and apts are JUST AS BAD (if not worse on some occasions!). So, keep your heads up fellow messy people, as someday we will have clean houses and not almost die trying to walk to the kitchen!

Until next time,

I’m bringing sexy back!

Don’t air your dirty laundry

Soooo, It is has been QUITE a bit since my last blog. I could account it for the business that is my life, but in truth it is because I am lazy and preferring to watch Netflix on my couch than actually clean my house (this is why I don’t have nice things…). ANYWHO! A friend of mine came over and almost had a panic attack at the amount of laundry I had ALL OVER MY HOUSE!

I swear some were trying to climb into the machine themselves!

When you live in your house with your crap, you don’t notice the stuff you end up stepping on or jumping around all over the place, and in desperate times call it “exercise” in utter defense about the way you live. WELL, I had not really noticed it UNTIL I almost BROKE MY ANKLE sliding on some clothes on the way to the kitchen. Since I had a near death experience I decided it was time to do something! (“I almost died!”)

Here are some pics to really get an idea of what was going on:

My morning obstacle course!

My slip n' slide!

We are clean, but have been in this basket for 2 weeks...

we went on a trip...3 weeks ago.

Well, I know EVERYONE is thinking, Dang, this girl is a MESS! Well, my friends, yes, yes I am, and instead of trying to hide my messiness I am EMBRACING it, because more of you than you like to admit probably have had (at least once) similar laundry situations. I am still in the process of cleaning all this stuff (outtacontrol!), but wanted to leave you with some pics and comments of my weekend!

This past weekend was my 2nd roller derby bout with the Richland County Regulators Roller Derby Team!! And, it was AWESOME. Bad Company won by like 200 points, and the Regs lost by ONLY 9 points. It was intense and a lot of great hitting! Here are some pics from the bout courtesy of whoever had my phone and Steven Hewett.

Get away from my jammer! (she is in the corner of the pic trying to sneak through (colorful socks!))

Grrrrr says Fang (middle)

AFTERPARTY!

Dot and Daniel! Miss you DOT!!!!

NEW JERSEYS!!

Until Next Time!

I’m bringing sexy back!

Give me a Tea!

Hey all!

I finally got my camera cord back, which means BLOGGING TIME!

(so not so long story even shorter, my friend borrowed my cord and then took 10 YEARS to return it, but I’M BACK!)

Since my kitchen was clean I decided to make some lemon tea (dirty it up!!). Now, although I live in the South, I am not a fan of sweet tea, but I LOVE Snapple’s Lemon Tea! So, I decided I would try to copy the recipe and make some DELICIOUS beverage!

1st, the ingredients:

Give me a T!

So, I have made tea before and am not dumb, so I was like let’s go! While the water and tea bags were doing their thing, I began to squeeze the lemons to get some lemon juice. EXCEPT, that no juice was coming outta my lemons. Summer had to come in and save the day! “Thank God all those years of working at Sonic taught me something” – Summer

ExSqueeze Me!

Summer was a beast at the squeezing, her hand can prove it!

See all that juice!

See the yellow…I should have washed them first…we’ll come back to that, but first,

I FOUND VODKA IN MY KITCHEN!

We ain't playing no hide 'n seek

Now, my kitchen was JUST cleaned, but that does not mean it was organized! My first thought was,

Lemons + Sugar + Vodka = LEMON DROPS!!

A great combo for a great afternoon…or so we thought.

Shit Just Got Real

Now, as you can notice:

1. the lemon wedges were already PRE squeezed

2. our shot glasses are of the tall variety

3. it’s BURNETT’S Vodka

(you see where this is going?)

Cheers!

AND THEN,

"that shot made my face hurt!"

Now, the most horrifying part of this picture is not that fact that our faces are puckered in absolute grossness from the worst shot ever, but the fact that my VERY MESSY living room is in the background.

I was truly hoping I would scare ya’ll with that later….

After our worst idea shots, I dumped the lemons into the tea, only to be told by Summer afterwords, “if you were going to put them in the tea, you should have washed them first.” DOH!

This ain't no used car lot!

I thought this looked GREAT! and I was excited to taste it (after adding sugar, obviously), and it was…

…THE WORST TASTING TEA EVER!

No pictures could describe how nasty it was, and I was sad b/c there was no saving it. I put soooo much sugar in it and tried but there was no hope. The lemons (used car lot…get it?) overtook the tea. It had to be scratched. 😦

Speaking of scratched, I also made this during all these shinanigans, and this was not crap!

Man, I'm baked!

That is a homemade  sauceless pizza with mozzerrella cheese, peppers, tomatoes, and pepperoni.

It was amazeballs, and put me in the right mood for an afternoon coma! So, sad day about the tea, but it is probably better off for my waistline!

Until next time!

I’m bringing sexy back

What’s that smell? PART DEUX!

Hey lovelies! So, I was not planning on posting today, BUT I had a HUGE influx of responses from my kitchen post!

So, I decided to do a quick post about that!

So, remember how I turned my kitchen from stanky:

#OUTTACONTROL

To swanky:

No more "mysterious" smells from the sink!

Well, I had sooooo many readers tell me how their kitchens are GROSS, and how they were glad they weren’t the only ones who have nasty kitchens, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Well, GUESS WHAT COLUMBIA?!?!

You are not alone, there are other lazy, non-dish washerers out there!

Trust me, I think all of them have talked to me in the past 36 hours!

For those of you who cannot relate to the empty dishwashers and sinks full of dishes (yes, some people actually do dishes on a regular basis), I give you kudos, as I am not one of you but yearn for the day of a regular clean kitchen!

Here are some viewers pics of their kitchens (yes, I said it, people sent me pics of their dirty kitchens!)

And I thought my kitchen was outta control!

Who needs counter space anyways???

Wow, well readers, keep the pics and comments coming! If you send me something it may end up in a Blog!

Look for another blog (hoping for Monday!!). Teaser: Knee pads, Arnold Palmers, and Lemon Drops (for real this time).

Enjoy these pics I took today as I walked back to my car in the 1000 degree heat of the arm pit of the South!

Downtown walking the 10 miles to my car...ok ok, not 10 miles, but in the 1000 degree heat if felt like it!

Too distracted by the clouds to watch the road...

Until next time!

I’m bringing sexy back.

What’s that smell????

So, I was (really) trying to be good this week and not spend money on food other than slice night and taco Tuesday! So, when I got home from work on Wednesday night I had every intention of making macaroni/cheese with broccoli. Except, when I came home I came home to this:

#OUTTACONTROL

I thought I had at least a pot to be able to make said macaroni in, but I could not find it…

so, I ended up at Rosewood’s Dairy Bar!

#3, yummy in my tummy!

As this was not my original plan, I decided to do something about it!

But first, DINNER!

Ignore the crap around me....that's another blog ALL together!

Sidenote: I like to put things in my mouth, and no I am not being dirty with that.

I decided this delictable meal would go wonderfully with the bottle of red I had.

Here’s some math for ya:

Red Wine + Burgers = Perfection

Chugging 2 glasses of said red wine for perfect photo op = WORSTIDEAEVER!

CHUG CHUG CHuuuuuggggg...burp.

So, not so long story short, it took me 2 days (YES I SAID IT, 2 DAYS!) to get this place under control,

and with the assistance of my wifey my kitchen began to look respectable…

(Sidenote #2: by assistance I mean she Facebooked the world while I cooked her lunch,

made her shots, and cleaned my kitchen)

No more "mysterious" smells from the sink!

Yay for clean kitchen!!
PS, to all of you out there: It is difficult to admit that I am this messy, so please be kind to me and my messiness!

Until next time,

I’m bringing sexy back.

Debrie, Debri, Debbie?

For my first Blog (ever!) I decided to remove the dividers in my front yard garden bed. The weeds have taken over and I have the blackest thumb around, so I decided to let the grass grow and to start mowing it!

Aye Aye Aye this bed is outta control!

Now as you can see, I already removed the posts in this picture, but you can get an idea of the magnitude of this thing! Pulling the posts out of the ground was not hard, it was getting them apart from one another (they were all nailed together)! Most of the wood was rotted, so I could pry the boards apart with my crowbar, but two boards were particularly difficult, so I had to call in my special friend, Le Ax!

à votre service!

(Sidenote: When wielding an ax, be sure not to drop it on your foot, as that could land you a trip to the hospital!)

Although I had mighty blows, I was not the most accurate…

Chop Chop Choppin' on Heaven's Door

…but, after many chops and crow bar action and 30 minutes, I was able to get the two boards apart! Huzza!

Who's your daddy?!?

You may be asking yourself, why did she even bother separating the boards? Well, my friends, Richland County (of where I reside) does not take debris larger than 4 feet, thus the great divide had to happen.

(Sidenote #2: I am not the best speller, and it took many attempts and a Google search to spell debris)

Divide and Conquer!

Some of these boards are larger than 4 feet, but RC can kiss my ass! And, as always when working in the heat HYDRATE!

Chug Chug Chug!

Until next time!

I’m bringing sexy back!